Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
