Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
someone owes me an orgasm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
