So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
