Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
