They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize