I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
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how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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