stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
