brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
