I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
