I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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