i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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