Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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