Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
