Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
