got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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