Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
