Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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