I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
