I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
