Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize