I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
