I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
