well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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