I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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