cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
