Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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