Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
