I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am one with the molecules
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
