how can u be prego again
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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