the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
