So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize