i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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