i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
