You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Say something about gay babies.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
