I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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