Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
