my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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