All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
