member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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