i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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