He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
