I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
nutella sex= disaster
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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