Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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