I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
