can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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