if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize