its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
