I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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