would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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