What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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