guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
