Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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