i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
