Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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