I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
