Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
