One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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