How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
