Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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