Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
