Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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