You're my little dorito
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
