Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
