She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
