u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just found a bag of teeth...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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