I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
