brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
