I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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