the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
